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Susi the hamster

like ... I hereby make known what would happen if Susie would die of hamsters on a north German farm:

1. We three associations in the rescue and for the rights unlucky hamster, all with similar goals, they argue henceforth to members and funding and who complains first.


2. We found an association in memory of the dead hamster in Germany and the care of their graves. An exhibition for the hamster, which died in the Nazi era, will be opened in Berlin. Poland complained several times that the Polish victims Hamster the Nazi regime are not sufficiently appreciated. We try to make offenders victims by pointing to the displaced from Poland German hamster. The Kaczynski brothers are pissed off enough. But full!


3. A club for the rights of female hamsters is complaining because it was not the HamsterIN Susi. In the future, always used the term "hamster inside." To shorten the salutation "hamsters and hamster inside", they'll agree, however, after a few years to "Hamsternde. Alice Schwarzer may finally back to a talk show. And she loves it.


4. Claudia Roth claims that the grand coalition, in terms of having failed to clear Feldhamsternde policy. FDP and Left Party are in agreement that the current field of political hamster costs too much money and does nothing. The hamster ends Committee of the SPD requires minimum space for single Hamsternde and funding for socially disadvantaged families with young hamster hamster ends ends in their own building. The Union claims that such things could be the death of the hamsters of competition and is booed for it by several unions. Susie's Hamster Babies die. Ursula must resign, it would indeed can still check the time, her ministry has failed. It is widely believed that you need better programs for young orphaned hamster ends. The program will be a higher fuel tax to finance. Muentefering is very proud.


5. It is mistakenly assumed that the hamster had died from poisoning. Several consumer groups will come on. Subsidies in the billions flow in future, each field is certified as safe for Hamsternde. But of course, increase the life Mitel prices, but to us the matter is so worth it. Person hamstendenwürdige attitude are loud. is


6. finally announced that the hamster really old age and a slight cold, which is under the hamsters this season very typical, died. The dangerous "ends hamster disease" virus over night notorious. Since it is known that the pathogen requires only 326 mutations unlikely to be too dangerous for humans or livestock to be the entire province is put under quarantine. The EU imposed an export ban on German rodents. Tens of thousands Hamsternde be killed, burned the bodies. In Bavaria there are no finds of course the dangerous ends hamster disease virus. Edmund is very proud.


7. Since there is currently no vaccine for the disease dangerous hamster ends, the share prices of companies fall into the basement, dealing with agriculture in the broadest sense. The DLG-chief must take his hat. The stock market crash spills to other countries and industries, the financial market collapses almost (it's called), the DAX falls again, but he is obviously still higher than the beginning of the year - only Josef Ackermann may be out of wind somehow give German bank shares only slightly. The investors are excited to increase his compensation and performance-related.


8. Only now it is clear that nobody cares about the rights of Muslim Feldhamsterder in Germany. Several organizations that want to have anything to do with each other and can not agree on a common advocacy to be established. Angela convene a conference to promote dialogue and the future to discuss Muslim hamster Santander in Germany. A small daily newspaper in Upper Bavaria writes that this was not such a good idea, triggering a wave of violence. After a few embassies set on fire, terrorist attacks were committed and a lot of nonsense talked apologized to Angela public for what has since written the Journal (editor in chief has no time for something that has to make even the Chancellor).


9. on an Arabic website then a video is released to see the two German hamster in captivity. The kidnappers demand the withdrawal of German troops from Afghanistan, otherwise the hamsters settlers, who were busy with construction work shot. Doctors are not allowed to start negotiations, Steinmeier takes out the wallet. To the forty Dutch hamster ends, which are also held, takes care, however, not a pig. Claudia Roth claims that the grand coalition to have failed. Wolfgang Schäuble again many good ideas on how to protect German Feldhamsternde better against terrorists and their basic rights. Angela waits patiently until everyone wants to lynch him and calls him then for moderation.

And now what? If Bush can bomb the field, died on Susie? If the field is included instead in the EU? Can prevent Ban Ki-Moon that the hamster ends threatened with nuclear weapons be? Are there problems with the immigration of Eastern European hamster driver? Claudia Roth is accused of grand coalition to have failed? And who will argue for cutting red tape as the first?

All this in the next, ur boring episode of your favorite newspaper!